Forgetting Myself
by Infinite Lovers
Summary: Spencer went to BU instead of UCLA. 5 years later, see where they wound up... Read and review please
1. Chapter 1

**So I recently was watching SON on my computer and I thought; what if Spencer never went to UCLA? So this is my take on what would have happened. Maybe they do maybe they don't get back together, you'll have to read and find out (:**

__**Flashbacks are in **_**italics**_**. **__

_**Forgetting Myself.**_

Chapter 1.

Where is pen, seriously I just put it down like 2.5 seconds ago. I need we go on air in 5 minutes.

"UGHHHHHHH" I blurt out in utter frustration "How the fuck do you lose something you just had, like, never mind." I finally spot it three feet in front of me at the feet of my assistant. After grabbing my pen and a much need coffee to get my nerves into check I head out to the stage where everyone is running back in forth getting everything ready for the show.

"Alright guys 2 minutes!" I yell and take a sip of my coffee taking my usual spot next to the camera switch my coffee for a headset with my assistant "Thanks Abby." I pull on the headset and adjust the mic "30 seconds Ryan and Kim, get ready." They nod and get their finishing touches of makeup done.

The show flies by quickly and by the time the director says cut I'm already taking my headset off and turning towards Abby for my coffee and phone back.

"Spence, you got a phone call while we were filming." I got closer and handed her my headset and got my phone and coffee back. I clicked my home button on my phone and went to see who It was but I didn't have them in my contacts or recognized the number, I arched an eyebrow and looked at Abby with suspicion

"Okay, who was it and what did they want?" I asked walking back to my office.

"Well it was Kyla Woods she's the manger of this singer As…"

"Ashley Davies, I know who she manages, what did she want?" I place my coffee and phone on my desk and take a much needed seat trying to wash away this shocked look off my face.

"She wanted to talk to you; she wouldn't tell what it was about or left a message. All she said was call her as soon as possible." She studied my face a little too long for my comfort then looked at her watch "Well it's after 4 so you should get going soon for your date tonight."

"huh, oh yeah right you can take the rest of the day off nothing is going on here."

"Thanks me and my boyfriend's anniversary is today" she said that then she was gone.

Kyla called me. We haven't spoken in over 4 years. What does she want? I hope she doesn't want Ashley on the show. I couldn't make it happen; I'm not the person who makes those decisions. I mean I would try, but I wasn't really in cahoots with upper management. I mean I'm sure since Ashley is such a huge singer right now they would book her in a heartbeat but I couldn't do it. The way we left things it would be so hard.

_"Ash we really need to talk about this fall." We have been sitting on the beach for an hour now in enjoying the perfect sunset. But there was such a huge wall built between us since she found the acceptance letter from BU_. _She has distanced herself from me emotionally definitely not physically. I'm sitting between her legs and she has her arms wrapped around my waist but after my comment she loosened her grip on me and took and deep breath _

_ "I know." She sighed and rested her chin on my shoulder kissing the side of my neck making me smile slightly "I just want to enjoy these last days as much as possible without fighting.." then she raised her head off my shoulder then unwrapped her arms around me "Spence can't this wait until we get back to the loft, Kyla isn't there." _

_ "Okay, then lets go." I stood up and brushed off the sand off my ass and waited for her to stand up and start heading to her car. _

_The ride to the loft was silent. But it was always like this when things were off between us and to say the least things were so off between us. When we entered the loft she went straight to our room to change, I wait in the kitchen for her to return I opened the fridge acting like I wanted something to drink but it was really just to waste time. _

_ "We are breaking up aren't we?" she said that and I just broke down, I slowly turned around with tears in my eyes "I take the look on your face as a yes"_

_ "Ashley, no I, we, you know I could never do that to you." I stepped closer trying to fight back the army of tears in my eyes _

_ "But you are going to BU, all the way in Boston, fucking across the country. There is no way you would want to still be with me while you have single girls surrounding you." She said this with so much hurt. _

_I couldn't take it anymore I just grabbed her kissed her with all the passion and love I had for her I had and she felt it. Before I know it I'm lying on my back only in my bra and panties and she is climbing on top of me with lust in her eyes._

_We made love all night until dawn the next morning, but when I woke I was in our bed alone. I slowly pulled turned my body to face Ashley's side of the bed opened my eyes to see a note and a single white rose laying beside me. _

"SPENCER?" I jumped at the woman's voice on the other end of my phone. She pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry Kyla, I got lost in my thoughts." I sighed "Why did you call me earlier?" Wow bitchy much Spencer, don't go run off the only person who was in your corner.

"Uhh, straight to the point I guess." She had a chuckle to herself. "I wanted to invite you to my wedding.." Then she went silent for a second "It's this weekend, well Friday to be exact at 4pm, ceremony by the pier then reception at our house." Then she mumbled a few things I really couldn't make out "I mean I'd totally understand if you couldn't it's like total last minutes, well like a day away and I'm kind of freaking out a little bit, I mean it's like a lot of…"

"KYLA SHUT UP!" I hear her silent for a moment then she busts into laughter "I will come." Then it dawn on me, Ashley. I can't back now I literally just told her I would. Shit shit shit Spencer. What did you just put yourself into?

"Awesome! Just you or a plus one?" I leaned back in my chair with my eyes closed. I could bring someone to distract me. But what if Ash see's then runs away again.

"Plus one." I say before I can even logically think about anything. Damnit!

"Oh, okay I'll tell As… I just let someone know." Oh my god, she is telling Ashley, great.

"Okay, see you Friday."

"Okay! I'll be the one in white!" we both share a laugh then I hang up the phone.

I take deep breath and then it hits me. I will have to face Ashley in 2 days. 48 hours. Freaking out can begin in 3, 2, 1…

**Sooooo? Good enough to continue? Review please I'll love to know what you think of it. Thanks so much!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So a lot of you like the first chapter! Which is awesome, thanks for the reviews. This chapter is going to be in Ashley's POV. Enjoy! Read and review!**

_**Forgetting Myself. Chapter 2.**_

**Ashley's POV.**

"Ashley, you have to make that seating chart I just can't seem to make it work." The bridezilla barked out.

"Kyla it can't be that hard." I said taking the paper from her looking over the names and erasing the poor attempt of her placing them. "See place Aiden's family in these three tables, then ours in these four, friends in the last 3 tables." I started jotting the names in the seating chart when I notice **her** name. _Spencer +1_. I adjust myself and write her name in one of the tables closes to the wedding parties table and hand it back to Kyla, who is already moving onto something else to freak about "here, it's done."

"WHAT? I was staring at that thing for hours and you get it done in 5 minutes?" she examines the chart and looks up at me "I meant you tell you Ash."

"It's fine, I had a feeling you would invite her." I say "Maybe we will finally talk and she won't try and avoid me." I shrug and stand up walking to the fridge trying to distract myself "When is Aiden getting here?" I say trying to get the subject off of Spencer for the sake of me not breaking down in tears.

"I don't know he texted me like 30 minutes ago saying he was stopping at the gym to get final work before the wedding then he's coming here then going to Glens and Chelsea's." she said

"So you two are following tradition then" I laugh and walk back over the to the couch and sit across from her looking at her "How is she?" I say looking up at her I can see she is shocked by my question but I need to know some things before tomorrow.

"I don't know really, she sounded fine. We really didn't have an in depth conversation about her wellbeing." She looked at me and locked eye contact "You know you can call her if you want I have her number.." I was shaking my head before her could finish her sentence

"No that would just make this awkward tomorrow and plus I wouldn't even know what to say to her, it's been 5 years Kyla." I could feel all the pain come back to me in a split second but I try my best to hold back my tears "Do you know who her plus one is?" I ask with my eyes shut hoping it wasn't a girlfriend.

"No, she didn't say who it was. But like I said Ash we didn't talk long." I nodded and got up from the couch

"Okay, well I'm going to go write I owe the label some new material anyway." I say that, then I make my way back to my room. When I reach my bedroom I close my door and lean against for a moment with my eyes shut fighting all the emotions that are running through me right now. I am going to see Spencer Marie Carlin tomorrow, the love of my life. I was going to have to look my best tomorrow if I was going to get Spencer to talk to me, she is so stubborn.

I made my way into my closet and changed into just a bra and panties making my way to my bed laying under the covers staring at my ceiling remembering things about _us._

_ "Babe" she laughed "Come here, please." I was lying on the couch across from my bed where she was. Pretending like I was asleep. We just got done one of our little arguments where I was left on the couch for the night. But tonight was different I volunteered to sleep on the couch. I turned onto my side trying to ignore Spencer's plea. "Ashley I know you are awake." I groaned and sat up leaning my back against arm rest. "Can you please come back to bed?" I stayed quiet for a moment then I stood up and made my way back to our bed laying down next her. _

_ "You are so stubborn, you know that?" I said nuzzling into her neck. She wrapped her arm around my neck pulling me closer to her. I kissed the nape of her neck softly "I'm sorry for bringing it up again I just want to know." I felt her take a deep breath _

_ "Look Ash, I want to go with you this summer I really do" she sighed and loosen her grip on me I lean on my arm and look at her moving a strand of hair out of her face _

_ "But…?" _

_ "But nothing, I want to go with you." A smile comes across my face and I press my lips to hers in a passionate kiss. When she pulls away I attach my lips to her jaw then down her neck, she moans "mmm babe not now we have to be up in a few hours" I pull away from my embrace and frown and lay my head on her chest. _

_ "I love you Spence, so much." She kisses the top of my head and I smile _

_ "I love you too Ash." _

I wake up to my alarm clock buzzing in my ears. When I look at the time it is nine in the morning. I burry my head under my pillows and try and go back to my thoughts but it doesn't seem to be working when I can hear Kyla running all over the house.

I slowly get out of bed and make my way to my kitchen heading straight to the coffee maker. Pouring myself a much needed cup then adding my cream and sugar taking a sip before turning around seeing my over whelmed sister staring at me "What?"

"You know I'm like getting married in…" she looks at the clock and does the math in her head "5 hours!" she looks so nervous.

"Kyla calm down. Everything will go smoothly." I say placing my cup down sliding my hands on her arms calming her down. "It is your day, you just get in that white dress and marry the man of your dreams."

"Thanks Ash" she kissed my cheek "We need to leave by 12." She ran off to her room.

I picked up my cup of coffee and made my way to my room sitting on my couch looking at my bed. I picked up my phone off the charger looking through my contacts flipping through them until I got to Spencer's name hovering over it with my finger. I accidentally press it and starts dialing her.

"Hello?"


	3. Chapter 3

**So here is another chapter guy! Read and review!**

_**Forgetting Myself. Chapter 3.**_

**Spencer POV**

_A black Porsche pulled up in my driveway as I was walking out my door to head to school "Hey sexy" she had her famous nose crinkling smile plastered on her face and after last night I wouldn't blame her. Let's just say I rocked Ashley Davies world (and bed) last night. _

_ "Hey, you might want to leave I'm supposed to be getting picked up by my girlfriend this morning." I joke opening the door sliding into the seat setting my bag on the floor. When I look up Ashley is leaning across her center console smiling "What?" _

_ "Give me a kiss." I roll my eyes and kiss her lightly. I start to pull away when I feel a hand on my neck pulling me closer deepening the kiss earning a throatily moan from me. She yanks her parking break up and climbs on top of me keeping our lips together. My hands slide around her waist pressing her hot center into my belt buckle. She pulled away slightly nibbling on my bottom lip then gliding her lips along my jaw line having her hands slide under my shirt. I slide my bottom lip between my teeth slowly sliding my hands up her sides under her tank top "Fuck baby, I want you." Her words sent my body in a frenzy the next thing I know I'm opening up my front door with Ashley's lips attacking my neck, sucking and nibbling on it. _

_ "mmmm baby" I said lifting her up in my arms letting her wrap her legs around my waist hearing her mumble something about my bed but I wanted her so bad I couldn't make it that far so I walked us to the couch in the den, we really didn't care where we had sex. And lately we couldn't keep our hands off each other. "Fuck" I moan out feeling Ashley's hands slide in my pants and her finger tips slide through my folds. I attach my lips to her pulse point sucking on it. _

_ "God baby, you're so wet." She said teasing my clit with her fingers. She loved teasing me. She slid her hand out of my jeans and started unbuttoning them sliding them off my legs. She pushed up my shirt exposing my entire stomach. "You want me to fuck you?" I nod not really sure I can form words or sentences right now, I'm beyond turned on. _

_ "Oh god" I managed to make out feel Ashley's tongue glide up one of my inner thighs getting close to my center. "Baby.." I bite my lip sliding my hands in her hair tugging on it lightly as soon as her tongue slides up my wet slit. _

_ "Watch me" she said I can feel her breath on my clit. I look down at her with my hand in her hair still she had complete lust in her eyes, I bite my bottom lip a little harder see her spread my thighs a part and bite my inner thigh "I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel last night baby." My eyes rolled to the back of my head when her mouth covered my clit sucking on it while she teased my entrance with her finger. My hips involuntary buck forward trying to get her enter me, she made her tongue stroke my clit up and down knowing that drives me crazy. _

_ "Just fuck me baby." I moaned up making eye contact with her "Hard." I felt her moan against my clit sending my body in vibrations making my back arch off the couch. Then I felt her enter me with two fingers almost sending me over the edge. "Oh fuck" she makes her way back up my body sliding her fingers in and out of me with a steady pace making sure she curls them every now and then. My hips start matching her rhythm of her fingers making me come closer and closer to cuming "I'm close baby" I moan out connecting our lips in a roughly kiss_

_ "Cum all over my hand baby, I want to taste you." Her saying that sent me over the edge. My body starts shaking and my scream Ashley's name. She keeps her fingers in me letting me ride out me orgasms as my walls are still tight around them. She kisses down my body sliding her fingers in her mouth tasting me as I watch. It was so sexy I probably could cum all over again. Then I feel her tongue lick up my slit getting all me. _

_ "Damn." Then I felt her tongue slide into me taking me completely by surprise. _

I was broken out of my thoughts by my phone going off. I close my eyes trying to regain composer. I grab my phone and don't even think to look at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I wait a few seconds before repeating myself "Hello?" I take my phone from my ear and look to see who it was and I almost had a heart attack seeing it was Ashley. "Ashley, I know it's you." There is another long pause "Look if you weren't going to talk, why did you call me?" silence "I'm hanging up." I say letting my finger hover over my end button I could hear her take a deep breath before hearing it

"I'm sorry" and then she hung up. Her voice hadn't changed. She sounded the same. The same sexy raspy voice I fell in love with over 5 years ago. I look at the time and realize it's almost two. Kyla's wedding was in two hours.

I was finishing with my make up when my doorbell rang. "Come in, doors open!" I yell hearing the door close. I make my way out of my room entering my kitchen where I see my assistant Abby waiting for me there "Hey, you look nice" I greet her opening my fridge grabbing two water bottles. I hand her one leaning against my counter top.

"Well thanks, so do you. Trying to impress someone tonight?" I smile slightly picking at the label on my water bottle. I look down at my red strapless dress that hugged my body and shrug.

"If she actually talks to me." I mumble to myself and look up at Abby. "She called me this morning but only said she was sorry." I take a drink looking at the time "She shouldn't have even called me." I fight back tears in my eyes, Abby has her arms around me hugging me tightly while I sob on her shoulder.

"Shh, Spence, everything is going to be alright." I pull away from her wiping my eyes pulling out a mirror looking if my makeup was smeared or messed up. I adjusted myself and looked at the time again

"We should get going, we are going to hit traffic." She nods and follows me out of the house.

We arrive to the beach a little early. When we park I see Glen and Chelsea standing at their car, we walk over to them

"Hey loser" I say punching my brother in the arm before giving Chelsea a tight hug "It's been too long"

"Oh my god girl, you look fine." Chelsea said making me blush a little

"Thanks." I look over at Abby "This is Abby, my assistant. Abby this is my brother Glen and his wife Chelsea." I say pointing to them.

"Hello." She says shyly.

"Where are my nephews?" I ask curiously

"With mom and dad for the night." Glen says looking at his watch. "Hey ceremony starts in 10, let's go take our seats." I nod and follow behind everyone.

Abby seems to feel me get nervous and she sticks behind with me "Need a drink?" she said offering my a sip of her flask "I thought you might want to loosen up before it starts" she says smiling warmly.

"Thanks." I say taking a sip realizing its vodka feeling it burn down my throat I cough slightly and hand it back to her "Ick, no more for me. I like my vodka with a chaser."

"Ladies and gentlemen please take your seats as for the ceremony will start any minute." The priest said at the altar.

Me, Abby, Glen, and Chelsea sit in the third row back from the altar on the brides side. I started feeling my heart beating in my ears as it was getting closer and closer to the ceremony starting. And me seeing Ashley for the first time in 5 years. God I hope I can keep myself together until at least the end of the ceremony.

Before I could snap out of my thoughts I see Aiden lining up at the altar with the priest. He scans the crowd and his eyes lock with mine and nods slightly, which I took as a 'be prepared nod' which is weird cause he is the one getting married. He should be the one to be prepared because if I know Ashley correctly she about made Kyla the most gorgeous bride ever.

I feel a hand squeeze mine when the music starts playing and I look over at Abby and she give me a smile of reinsurance. She wasn't just my assistant she has become my best friend over these tough years. I thank her for staying around and being my shoulder to cry on.

I took one finally breathe before looking behind me to see if someone was coming. There she was. With flowers in her hands, in a dress that had a strap on one of her shoulders, it hugged her body in the most perfect spots. The sun was beating down on her bare shoulders making her skin glow. It was so much beauty to take in at one time. I had to turn back around to collect myself. I looked at my hands that were fidgeting with each other.

"Please stand" the priest asked up. And everyone stood in unison as the song changed to the proper wedding song. It felt like it took Kyla 20 minutes to finally reach the altar with Aiden but in reality it was a good 45 seconds. "Please be seated" he said as we did what he asked. I tried to look at Aiden and Kyla but my focus always went to Ashley. She scanned the crowd when she did I looked down feeling her eyes burn on my skin. I felt myself blush looking up at her with our eyes locking, feeling mine water up with all my emotions I was feeling that were rushing back. My heart beat started to race.

Before I knew they were saying I do and kissing. I tried to focus on Aiden and Kyla when they were saying their vows but it didn't happen. Ashley tore attention from be shortly after we locked eyes but I couldn't seem to do it. But I didn't mind either. I was soaking up the beauty that I was deprived of these past 5 years.

"They are going to be such a great married couple." Chelsea said as we were walking back to our cars. "Meet you two at the reception party at Ashley's?" I nodded

"Yeah, we will be there Chels." I say trying my best to smile.

"If it's too hard we don't have to go." Abby said as we got into my car. I shook my head

"No, I need to do this, but I can just drop you off if you don't want to go, it might be awkward not really knowing anyone." I said while starting my car.

"No, it's fine. I want to be there if it doesn't go well" she said kissing my cheek making me smile

"Okay then." I smile and start heading towards Ashley's beach house.


End file.
